The Book Of Morgan

The Pony Bible
Volume 1: The Origins
Genesis

In the beginning was the rock. It wasn’t anything to look at, just a simple rock, floating through the empty void of space. It was here that the first words were spoken. Morgan Freeman stepped foot on the rock and said “Let there be light.” And there was light, and Morgan Freeman saw that it was good. Morgan Freeman called the light “Sun” and the darkness “not the sun”. And there was some times when both the sun was in the sky and there was still some dark. Morgan Freeman called that “a gay vampire novel”. Because it was getting confusing when the sun would be in the sky when there was dark, Morgan Freeman throw a big ball of dirt in the sky and called it “the reflecty rock in the sky”.
It was at this time that he notice he was thirsty, so he made a big puddle of water, but accidentally made it too big, and it ended up flooding 70% of the damn rock. This, Morgan Freeman called the “Oh shits!” because that’s what he yelled when he spilled the water on the ground. He had a drink or two of the water and decided it was time for a nice long bath. He peeled off his space suit and jumped into the ocean. He must have been in the water for like a few years, because when he came up, there was all sorts of animals swimming around him. They all kind of looked like Morgan Freeman, so he assumed they must be his creations.
After several weeks of living on his own with the animals, his favorite being the walking bacon ball, he decided that he needed a friend. He found a pile of leftover parts from various animals and began to rummage through them. He pieced them together, not really caring if it made any sense and stepped back to observe his newest creation. The creation blinked twice and coughed up a large ball of what must have been hair.

"You couldn’t have at least tried to find matching parts?"

"Excuse me, I was a bit busy making life on this desolate rock. What do you want from me?"

"You did all of this? Share your secrets with me, won’t you?"

Morgan Freeman was torn, on one hand, he wanted to keep all of this amazing talent of his to himself, but on the other, this new guy seemed to be one cool cat.
"Alright, I’ll share my awesome powers with you. What’s your name, kid?"

"Well, jeez, I thought you’d be able to tell me. I was just born and I look like Sid from Toy Story made me."

"You’re right about that, kid. You’re a funny looking son of a bitch, aren't you?"

"It’s utter chaos when I look down. I’d hate to see what my face looks like."

"Hmm…Utter Chaos? That name doesn’t sound half bad."

"I don’t think so, pal. I’m not having a name like that."

Morgan Freeman consulted his trusty thesaurus.
"Your name is Discord."

"Discord? Hmmm…Discord? That sounds wonderful!"

And then Morgan Freeman and his new friend, Discord, continued on their merry way.